okay. listening to Plastic Beach (the new Gorillaz album).

first off, the album on it's own is phenomenal. it was recommended to me by my old ap psych teacher.

he recommended watching the video for Stylo, specifically saying that it would, "crack me up".

well i watched it. didn't understand it apart from the donuts and bruce willis.

so that prompted further research...

i had no idea how incredible and grand the gorillaz were (are?)

like it's an entire fiction. it's an entire fucking world!

it's amazing! there's a whole story to follow and i'm a complete sucker for stories.

i spent most of today with the gorillaz.

(and watching north by northwest)

discovered this:

what is that? what?

you could say it's noodle - gorillaz guitarist. it is.

you could also say it's going to be me for halloween this year. it is.

i am totally sucked into and obsessed with this shit now.

it's so brilliant!

Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett are more or less gods, really.

here's the video to Stylo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9vAOzYz-Qs

oh my GOD!

people are gorgeous!

music: i'm on a soko kick again. Soko, Daniel Johnston, Talking Heads, Bjork.

talking about those idiosyncratic but universal but repetitive but erratic but real real real

people rhythms.

yes, absolutely.

i really love being alone, i really do.

how purely and truly liberating!

but

all i really miss

is being kissed.

i haven't written in a very long time

or done much to the effect of personal productivity?

ah, winter is so languid.

i just want to go outside and look at the snow all day.

or close my eyes and look outside from the inside of my eyelids.

anyway...

hey, you! don't be so afraid of sexuality! don't be so afraid of being ugly!

these things

happen.

i will still love you at least a little.

tree ay em.

today was productive!

[my room is now finally clean and whatever.

did the dishes

finished my drawing homework

went for a run with my dog

(note: i'm out of shape. i can tell because my face was a tomato by the time i came back).

and now i'm doing lcd homework]

...i need to get off facebook. BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

i had things to say, but oh my god i am too lazy right now.

realizing i ought to be doing real work.

l8r sk8erzs.

oh wait.

Marc Jacobs Fall 2010 line

nice!

Mateusz Kolek

how ill is that?

okay. time to just cry myself to sleep or some shit.

this song this song this song.

it's unfair how it can change my mood so well.

don't be so blue don't be so blue don't be so blue don't be so blue don't be so blue

the color hardly suits you

but color can't be helped.

don't be so blue.

so many things are changing around me, i find it a little strange that i still stay the same.

-i'm planning on commuting to pratt this semester for various reasons. like being able to use that money to get a car. using that money to go on tour.

-me and kelvin are split for all intents and purposes. also for various reasons (various really only being one: distance). SO GUESS WHO A SINGLE LAYDEE?!

-picking up major speed with the band once again! we're in the studio starting tomorrow!

... i don't know!

maybe there is a little something to this whole new year, new decade business.

the only thing that isn't new is me. same old me. all the time.

i like this idea a lot. for like a photo shoot or something


back in the studio starting... tomorrow!
i'll keep posting with details.

cold desert - kings of leon


NO BIG DEAL.

they're my favorite band.
i can't even... like to me, they're just really perfect.

things things...


i'm going to grow my hair out again and i'm going to learn the piano again.


with patience that i don't really have.

back in new york!

as of... three days ago.

and holy roller, it's a new year.

but that's like besides the point. it's just like most days, excepting the fact that my kidneys don't hurt so much most days.

point: women i admire and look up to.

uh.. that i can think of at the moment:

Bjork, Fiona Apple, Frida Kahlo, Patti Smith, Agnes Varda

[in los angeles, still]
claratin is like... the most wondrous thing.



i guess i'm too chicken to really commit to a decision.

ON ANYTHING.

when i get back to new york (in a somewhat specific order):

order a real thing of coffee by a frosted window, finish reading my books, get laid, have a ciggarette and sit by a fire with my dog.

in los angeles for winter break:
adoring the western sun, adoring the smallness of her kid cousins, adoring the blood that runs through even loose ends, adoring anyone with energy (ones who don't waste time in front of a computer screen blogging), adoring her new guitar.
waiting (with more patience than expected) to get home to her boy friend, her friends, feet of snow, and the smutty atlantic ocean.

-picking up blogging again, hoping that writing things down will help me remember things-

i'm in the middle of reading Kerouac's On the Road and it's making me itch for a long open road that's gonna read like a blank book. i want to be able to understand this world, without an ear to the grapevine; there's no empathy in that.
one of these days, i'm going to take a road trip across country.
[except i wish i had a pair of balls instead of breasts. or that men weren't so lecherous. guns and knives, my friends.]

but there's another pipe dream.
this one runs like a steam freighter across the states, coughing up gas.
this one's do-able though.

i knew i was going to regret going at this book pen-less.
how am i supposed to find a respectable quote?
what the fuck.
inaction makes me reliant on fate.
so on some random turned-to page:
"We were all delighted, we all realized we were leaving confusion and nonsense behind and performing out one and noble function of time, move. And we moved!"

seems fair.

[ don't we want originality?
pioneers and diamond diggers
beggars for prospect and something [anything] genuine and ours
so it's something that's ours.
to love like a child. ]

i'm thinking... maybe i'd be better taking a year off?

finding a job, getting an apartment close to campus?

maybe that'll get me organized. haha?

maybe not organized - maybe more like prioritized.

p.s. www.myspace.com/annonsh

I've been feeling pretty surreal lately ---

like, mechanical in a way.

I guess this is what it feels like to put your life back in order

it's okay, I guess

blogging is stupid - 

every time I log on to this thing, I can't ever write anything

on the one hand, I can write for days about some existential and philosophical theory 

but that's just a rant filled with big words 

if I'm going to spend that much time writing, I'd rather write something a lot less selfish

like something humanitarian - 

problem is, I'm not very good at it

also, it's easier just to provide the link

like hey, this is Kids for Kids

check it out, it's a really innovative organization that's allowing families and villages in Darfur sustain themselves.

really, check it out.

I could also tell you all the going ons of my life

but I'd fall asleep

you'd fall asleep

who gives a shit

i don't know you!

fucking blogs.

the four of us are marrying each other.

This is a text messaging conversation between me and Georg:

Georg: "By the way, GEORGE WASHINGTON is my hero! Haha."
"HAHAHAHAWHAT?! HAHAHA"
"He is more powerful that ZEUS (chewbacca's father, by the way!)"
"GEORG LOEWEN IS MY HERO"
"Haha! Thank you! Did you know that WASHINGTON ate british babies for breakfast?"
"did you know georg loewen eats dog babies for breakfast?"
"I didn't know about that... tell me more about this lord!"
"He's a lot cooler than your hero. your hero is DEAD."
"NO THAT'S A LIE HE STILL LIVES IN MY TOE!"
"NOBODY CAN LOVE A MAN WHO LIVES IN A TOE!"
"But you don't know my real hero. Her name is shannon and she lives in my heart!"

his heart's cozy.
:)

i have a really lame sense of humor.